Sneezy

Posted on 05/14/2012 by

I am working and earning money but it’s not the ideal situation.  My job does not include health insurance benefits and when I feel sick, it makes me feel more vulnerable.  I’m not fond of colds, but I think one might be sneaking up on me.  My head aches and the back of my throat feels thick.  It could also be allergies.

On another note, I long for the days when I can sit around writing fiction again, will those days ever come back?  I sure hope so.  I think I might play sometime this week so that will be nice.  Now that I’m back in my old stomping grounds I can find people to play with again.  Yay!  I get to pull out my Domme and take her for a stroll around the block.

I’m getting tired of home improvement projects.  Things didn’t seem this difficult when I was younger.  What happened?

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Mom

Posted on 05/13/2012 by

I miss my mom.  I think about her every day, several times a day.  Sometimes it seems she is with me in spirit.  I am in the midst of home improvement projects and she was often the one who encouraged and helped me out at times like this.  I know she would be a lot older if she were still alive and honestly, she is better off wherever she is.  I like remembering her as young, strong, and loving.  I would not have wanted to watch her age much more than she did.  Still, I miss the times we had together and I often wonder what she would think if she were here.

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The Long Winding Road

Posted on 05/04/2012 by

I am moved into my new home, sorta.  That means I am still living out of boxes and I have yet to begin any major remodeling of my new place.  My new job is hectic, which is something I wasn’t expecting.  I’m tired of work, when can I retire?  I am thinking back on the last 10 years of my life and where I have been and how far I’ve come in that period of time.  Wow, just wow.  I had no idea I was capable of doing so much.  I would begin listing all of my accomplishments for you, but I don’t want to bore you to death. Things feel right for me at the moment and that is a good sign.  I can’t wait to get out and go kayaking again and explore my surroundings.  I have had it drilled into me for so long that work comes before play that I am trying desperately to get my work done so that I can go out and play.

My little doggy is about the sweetest pet I have ever had the pleasure of knowing.  He’s so small and cute, you should see him.  He’s so cuddly that he loves to hug me, and he literally does that.  He’s got such a sweet disposition.  He is a lot of work to take care of, but he is worth it. I never really did settle on a good name for him but I loved all of the suggestions you wrote, mostly I call him “spooky” since it fits him in a couple of different ways and my daughter also uses it.  For some reason I can’t call him Romeo anymore and I don’t know why.  Everything spooks him, that’s for sure.  He’s my little male sub.  All he wants to do is love and be loved and run to me for protection when the going gets tough.  I am so lucky to have such a special animal in my life.  He was afraid when I moved that I wouldn’t bring him along so he hid under my truck (Buck the Truck) and was very nervous.  He’s so afraid of being dumped again.  He’s such a sweet little guy.

Well wish me luck since I am going to the Home Depot tomorrow to purchase paint and I am also purchasing laminate wood flooring in the very near future and installing it myself I think.  I also might unpack the kitchen at some point.  I have curtains to buy and all sorts of shit to do.  I will get there though, I swear it will happen.  Gonna see about doing some more writing now, so wish me luck.

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Movement

Posted on 04/20/2012 by

I changed the blog theme because the other one had too many things about it that I did not like.  Perhaps you can grow to like this one over time?  I am moving AGAIN, so that’s why you have not heard much from me.  When I move I will also be redecorating for a short time.  I secured a job for now, not my dream job, but something that will not leave me destitute.  Thank you for hanging in with me!

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Thinking Days

Posted on 04/09/2012 by

Thank you all for your comments, they really brighten my day. I have been writing some fiction, so I will keep on keeping on with that if I can. I had a six hour drive today, a job interview, and now I’m exhausted. That is sorta what my days have turned into. I am quitting my job here because things have not worked out the way I had hoped they would. The bottom line is that I’m too old to deal with shit, so wish me well in finding another job. So far, nothing is working out. I will probably move back to my home state to look for work. That move will take place in the next few weeks and it will likely kill me if I’m not careful and don’t get rid of more shit. If I told you very much more about my situation then I would have to kill you. LOL Not really of course. Basically, if I tell you very many details of things that are going on right now I feel it would violate my privacy to a degree that I would not be comfortable with. I am thinking of changing my dog’s name to either Spooky (due to the pattern of spots on his back that resemble a scream mask) or to Guido (due to how fat his neck is). His current name is Romeo because he is such a lover and it is a name he came with. I’m not fond of that name. Any votes on a name? If you notice his hair is short on his back it is because he had some surgery there to remove a lump on his back. Maybe I should name him Quasimodo…well, too late I guess. Let me know what you think.

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Sorry to Slack

Posted on 04/04/2012 by

I have been MIA (Missing in Action) for a while and I’m sorry. I haven’t even checked my email associated with my site. I’ve got a lot going on in my personal life, and my daughter has been living with me for about two months now, which has dramatically changed my solitary life. I’ll try to do better. You’ve heard that before, right? Happy belated birthday Alias. I hope you enjoyed your day. I’ll let you know a little secret. I have to be in a certain state of equilibrium (so to speak) in order to blog and that has been sorely lacking for a few months now. I’m getting that stability back now, but it is slow coming back. If you’re in the mood send some positive energy my way feel free to do so. I could definitely use some. I hope all is well with you.

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Yay

Posted on 02/27/2012 by

My laptop is on the way back!!!!!

Thank you God!

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The Jacksons 34

Posted on 02/18/2012 by

Sending in my laptop for service, so I thought I better hurry and put this up. I will try and post using my iPad in the meantime. Sorry about the quick editing job.

Chasing Tail
 
The Jacksons 34

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It’s a Dog’s Life

Posted on 01/29/2012 by

 

I have a lot to blog about so I need to get busy.  I didn’t want to tell you that last August I decided it was better to find another home for my dog Trixie.  I can’t really explain all the reasons why, but I know it was the right thing to do.  She is a wonderful dog, but after I moved to my new place things sort of went downhill with me and Trixie.  She was stressed out being alone which is something I am not sure she had ever really experienced before.  I was gone a lot and she needed a lot of activity and company.  It seemed to me she was not very happy with the new arrangement and I wasn’t either.  I had a lot of guilt for not playing with her enough and walking her almost constantly as she needed.  She is an active dog and while I was living with my kids she was happy and there were no issues.  Alone, things were a bit different.  I was also traveling a lot and this was stressing her out.  So alas, we parted ways.  She is with another family now and I am hopeful she is much happier.

Ironically, the other day I happened to go check out a dog that a friend of mine told me about.  Something drove me to do it.  The dog was a male five-year-old chihuahua at a local shelter here in town.  My little dog Paco was the love of my life for a very long time.  I think people either love chihuahua’s or NOT.  I happen to love them.  When I met this little dog I knew right away he was perfect for me because I have learned what the criteria is for me owning a dog now that my circumstances have changed.  The dog is a male submissive.  His name is Romeo.  There is a very good reason for the name since he seems to have the same lust for stuffed animals that Paco used to have, meaning he enjoys a good humping.  I bought him a little stuffed raccoon today and he has already tried to hump it despite it being very small.  He also gets excited when he looks at me and it’s um…obvious.  He’s a lover.  So even though I toyed with changing his name to something else, I decided to keep his name as Romeo.

It’s difficult for me to admit that things with Trixie didn’t work out, but life goes on and now I have another dog that I think is a better match for my new life.  Two of my kids were here visiting last week when I brought the dog home and they love him.  My daughter is the type who loves all dogs no matter what, but my oldest son is sorta picky about dogs.  He loved Romeo, so I knew that was a good sign.  Now I have a little dog in my life to comfort me when I come home from work.  I can hold him and snuggle with him and recover from the day.

I really can’t explain this to you, but I am feeling like someone is watching over me.  The series of events that have unfolded in my life recently are a little astounding.  I have a feeling inside that my journey of relocation is not over yet.  I have truly been fortunate because I no longer have my house to worry about.  It is sold.  The timing of the sale couldn’t have been better. I wish I could share more with you about why it was such perfect timing for me, but that’s not possible.  Even my kids don’t have a grasp of the things that are happening with me.  Although there continues to be bumps and divots along my path, things seem to be leading me in a direction that I need to go.  I am trying to “let go and let God.”  That’s just a saying and not a statement that I believe in a God, but in reality it echoes what my life has evolved into.  I am learning to let go.

I don’t have a good picture of Romeo yet, but I have this one.  I have a new camera and I plan to take some pictures with it when I get it set up.  I’m sorta slow at doing things if you haven’t noticed.  Well, keep on keeping on and take it easy.

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And then there was Sunday…

Posted on 01/22/2012 by

I know I’ve been neglecting my duties as a blogger. Damn, but I’m lazy sometimes. After the last restoration, and no that is not a religious reference, I guess I sorta got lazy or lazier. I work 8 hours, and if you count prep time and chill time…it adds up to more than 8 full hours plus 30 minutes for lunch. I guess I spend about 10 hours per day getting ready for work and finishing up work before I come home at night. After that, I sit around and my mind is kinda dead for a while. I don’t have one of those jobs where I go to work and do mindless tasks. I have one of those “people” jobs and it’s very high energy. People are so needy! LOL

Anyway, the evenings have not been the “I can’t wait to get home and blog” evenings for quite some time. I get home and turn on the television and watch John Stewart and Stephen Colbert. I have to DVR those shows, since they air when I’m sleeping. I watch them the next day.  I eat some food and sit for a couple of hours after that and go to sleep soon afterward so that I can go back to work the next morning. Weekends I’ve been going on a three hour drive each way to visit friends and family. When I stay home for the weekend I wake up and think…Good lord I don’t feel like doing anything.  So my blog, as much as I love it, sits here waiting for me.

I admit that since my friend “C” died, the motivation to write has taken a vacation. I knew each day how much he looked forward to my blog entries. He wrote me at least daily, if not more than that, to let me know how anxious he was. I’m thinking he was my soul mate since he accepted me no matter what I did or said and I felt completely understood by him. My love for him made me want to blog for him. Not that I don’t love all of you as well…but “C” and I had something different. A very unconventional relationship.  He is taking care of me still, even though he’s gone, and I can’t explain how or why I know that. The pain of his loss is lessening now, but the kick in the ass I needed to get me blogging is absent.

This weekend I stayed home.  I have had a lot on my mind. I have been thinking of applying for work back in the state where I used to live. I miss my friends and my kids. I like my job here, but I feel alone sometimes and I’m not sure that’s the best thing for me all the time. It’s good sometimes, but not always.  I’m a little torn about it honestly.  I have friends here, but it’s not the same. So instead of working on the blog this weekend I did work on my resume.  I feel I am on some path with this work thing and I’m not sure where I”m headed.  I’m leaving a lot of it up to fate.

Yesterday I got a great email from someone who just discovered my blog and I must say it sparked me to write again. It seems people are still discovering the blog and the many archives. It gives me a little push when they give me praise and tell me how much they enjoy it.  Hopefully that will help motivate me. I think I have another chapter of fiction ready to edit, but it just sits and waits.  Part of the issue is a broken laptop that needs fixing.  Writing is not as easy with the way I have things rigged computer wise.  Damn…lazy, lazy, lazy.

I hope you are having a terrific weekend.

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